The C.I.A. is With Us

The C.I.A recently formed the WikiLeaks Task Force proving that once again, being serious can sometimes be really funny.

Hangover Helpers: Do you travel to Moab?

BOULDER, Colo. (AP) - Your head aches, you're hungry and your house is littered with sticky plastic cups. Who ya gonna call? Hangover Helpers.
Two University of Colorado graduates are marketing a new business by that name in Boulder, home of CU's main campus. They'll bring in breakfast burritos and Gatorade the morning after a party - and clean up the mess. All for $15 per person.

We just need to figure out if they'll pedal our bikes for us too. If so, I say they're HIRED!

Please Touch My Junk!

(Nov. 15) -- A California man got thrown out of San Diego's airport when he refused a revealing full-body scan and then an alternative pat-down, telling a Transportation Security Agent, "If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested."John Tyner, 31, said he was told he could face a civil lawsuit and a $10,000 fine for leaving the screening area before the security check was complete, according to news reports and his blog.

I don't know about all of you but when I fly, I grow a beard, carry a qur'an, wear a turban, and stuff my pockets with lighters and metal to purposely get patted down. If a TSA agent touches my junk, I kiss him/her on the cheek and give 'em my phone number. As a married guy with kids, that is some of the best action a man can get (take notes Caleb).

Dirty Little Mouse

Please note: The mouse in this story is an actual computer mouse. I've reprinted the story in full. This story has it all - naked break ins, mushrooms, tazing, passing out, a mouse in the rectum (damn near killed him), slapping, kicking and biting police....WOW! AWESOME!

SENECA, SC - A burglary call for Oconee County sheriff's deputies turned bizarre Monday morning when their suspect was found naked with a mouse in his rectum and apparently drugged, an incident report shows.
Authorities responded to Bernwood Circle near the town of Seneca late Monday morning after a resident complained of a burglar. When deputies arrived, they found Noah Smith, 31, lying face down and naked inside the doorway of the victim's home, the report stated.
When the deputy tried to make contact with Smith, he slapped the deputy. In return, the deputy deployed his taser, which had no effect on Smith, the report stated.
With reinforcements, deputies approached Smith again in the victim's bedroom. A deputy managed to handcuff Smith before he jumped off the victim's bed and tried to kick other deputies in the room, the report stated.
Then, according to the report, Smith was pepper sprayed. Undeterred, Smith continued to kick at the officers and otherwise evade capture. He was struck with a police baton several times, and Smith attempted to bite the deputy.
Smith's head and mouth were covered with a blanket to prevent him from biting. He was wrestled down so shackles could be placed on his legs and his arms were hog-tied, the report stated. An EMS crew responded and provided a stretcher to which Smith was also tied.
Deputies and officers from the Seneca Police Department opined that Smith might have been high on mushrooms, and identified equipment that could be used to get high in the victim's home.
During a medical exam at a nearby hospital, medical personnel found a mouse tail hanging from Smith's rectum. An X-ray revealed a mouse lodged inside Smith.
He told emergency room personnel that he could not remember what had happened to him.
After the medical exam, he was charged with resisting arrest, 1st and 3rd degree assault a battery charges, and indecent exposure. Smith was transported to the Oconee County Detention Center.

Air Sex!

Coming to a city near you....Air Sex World Championships! Air guitar contests are SOOOOOO 90s. If anyone is going to be in Portland or Seatlle next weekend, the TF will pay your entry fee. Just take lots of pictures and video.
http://www.airsexworldchampionships.com/

How Many Will Fit?

This blog started with hamsters and will end two days before the TF with hamsters. I thought of a new game for the new guys. It's called, "How Many Will Fit?" Hopefully not more than four cuz that's all I have.

DON'T TASE ME BRO!

It's not the voltage, it's the amps that get ya! This 17-year fence hopper discovered what a full taser charge feels like on Monday night at the Phillies game in front of 40,000 people. Congrats to the Phat Philly police officer for having a pretty darn good taser shot.

By the way, this reminds me of one of the early-to-bed awards for this year. Good luck everyone! Remember when we got Brett likes 3 times before he finally got back up and joined us around the campfire? Ahhhh, the memories.