Schweddy Balls - Thank You Ben and Jerry's!

http://www.benjerry.com/flavors/feature/schweddy/

Basketball, Sex, and Lots of Babies!

Brandon Davies - Suspended from the BYU basketball team for having pre-marital sex.  That is a total shame.  How is he going to be NBA eligible unless he starts fathering kids today?
Shawn Kemp - Allegedly has 11 kids with 9 different women.  Also, he did NOT attend BYU.

Mini on a Mini for a Mini

A man in Germany wins a Mini Cooper by tattooing the word "Mini" on his junk.  How did YOU get your Mini Cooper?

Is that Seamen and Blood You're Wearing?

As if a dress made of REAL MEAT isn't enough.  Lady Gaga is developing a new perfume.  She has requested the developers to make it smell like seamen and blood.  They mentioned on SNL that the perfume should be called Hotel Mattress.

Football and PORN! OH YEAH!!!

Too good to be true.  Here is the info from XXXChurch's website:  This is the chance to bring hope to those who are struggling with pornography. For some it is ludicrous to link three X's with church and for others it is long overdue. The one undeniable truth that can't be ignored is the blatant push for all things sexual in our society. Porn Sunday seeks to drive the conversation about pornography into our churches, families and lives. This weekend service brings healing to those sitting in churches who are caught up in pornography.
More than 300 churches from all over the U.S. are participating.
The churches will play a 40-minute video simulcast featuring Jon Kitna, Matt Hasselbeck, Ryan Pickett, Josh McCown and a few other NFL players and founder of XXXchurch, Craig Gross. The video will be available to watch on the website on Sunday, Feb 6th all day.
The goal for the event is to get churches talking about the "elephant in the pew" and get people help that are struggling with porn and sex addiction.

Charlie Sheen, are you listening?  And by the way, that's not an elephant in the pew, that's a pornstar!

So You Think You Can Party?

If you think YOU can party.  Think again.  Charlie Sheen was hospitalized recently for "abdominal pain".  After smoking a briefcase full of cocaine with 5 hookers and/or pornstars and shelling out thousands of dollars for said pornstar sex, Sheen checked himself into rehab......AT HIS OWN HOUSE!  That should work out fine.   ORDER ME UP MORE DRUGS AND WHORES!......RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW.  THIS REHAB STUFF IS KILLING ME!

State of the Union

Striking the new civil tone in Washington, Sarah Palin reportedly said while making this hand and mouth gesture, "I'll take all three dicks AT THE SAME TIME!"  And that is precisely why our country is heading in the right direction.  One with a very happy ending.

Where's the Beef? At?

WHERE'S THE BEEF?!?!

Apparently not at Taco Bell.  Reports yesterday allege Taco Bell beef is only about 36% beef.  Do we really care what it is?  Especially after a heavy night of drinking?  It's delicious!  And that's all people care about. 

Things that Look Like Vaginas

This is a picture of someone's vocal folds.  Get your mind out of the gutter sickos!

Captain Awesome......AWESOME!!!

EUGENE, Ore. -- An Oregon man's new name is getting a lot of attention. An unemployed cabinet maker legally changed his name to Captain Awesome.


Awesome was born as Doug Smith Junior. He said he wanted a name a little more unique.

A judge approved Captain Awesome's new name. Mr. Awesome even works as an ordained minister on the side.

It does not really matter how you spell his new name. His official signature are two arrows pointing to a smiley face from the left and the right.

The C.I.A. is With Us

The C.I.A recently formed the WikiLeaks Task Force proving that once again, being serious can sometimes be really funny.

Hangover Helpers: Do you travel to Moab?

BOULDER, Colo. (AP) - Your head aches, you're hungry and your house is littered with sticky plastic cups. Who ya gonna call? Hangover Helpers.
Two University of Colorado graduates are marketing a new business by that name in Boulder, home of CU's main campus. They'll bring in breakfast burritos and Gatorade the morning after a party - and clean up the mess. All for $15 per person.

We just need to figure out if they'll pedal our bikes for us too. If so, I say they're HIRED!

Please Touch My Junk!

(Nov. 15) -- A California man got thrown out of San Diego's airport when he refused a revealing full-body scan and then an alternative pat-down, telling a Transportation Security Agent, "If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested."John Tyner, 31, said he was told he could face a civil lawsuit and a $10,000 fine for leaving the screening area before the security check was complete, according to news reports and his blog.

I don't know about all of you but when I fly, I grow a beard, carry a qur'an, wear a turban, and stuff my pockets with lighters and metal to purposely get patted down. If a TSA agent touches my junk, I kiss him/her on the cheek and give 'em my phone number. As a married guy with kids, that is some of the best action a man can get (take notes Caleb).

Dirty Little Mouse

Please note: The mouse in this story is an actual computer mouse. I've reprinted the story in full. This story has it all - naked break ins, mushrooms, tazing, passing out, a mouse in the rectum (damn near killed him), slapping, kicking and biting police....WOW! AWESOME!

SENECA, SC - A burglary call for Oconee County sheriff's deputies turned bizarre Monday morning when their suspect was found naked with a mouse in his rectum and apparently drugged, an incident report shows.
Authorities responded to Bernwood Circle near the town of Seneca late Monday morning after a resident complained of a burglar. When deputies arrived, they found Noah Smith, 31, lying face down and naked inside the doorway of the victim's home, the report stated.
When the deputy tried to make contact with Smith, he slapped the deputy. In return, the deputy deployed his taser, which had no effect on Smith, the report stated.
With reinforcements, deputies approached Smith again in the victim's bedroom. A deputy managed to handcuff Smith before he jumped off the victim's bed and tried to kick other deputies in the room, the report stated.
Then, according to the report, Smith was pepper sprayed. Undeterred, Smith continued to kick at the officers and otherwise evade capture. He was struck with a police baton several times, and Smith attempted to bite the deputy.
Smith's head and mouth were covered with a blanket to prevent him from biting. He was wrestled down so shackles could be placed on his legs and his arms were hog-tied, the report stated. An EMS crew responded and provided a stretcher to which Smith was also tied.
Deputies and officers from the Seneca Police Department opined that Smith might have been high on mushrooms, and identified equipment that could be used to get high in the victim's home.
During a medical exam at a nearby hospital, medical personnel found a mouse tail hanging from Smith's rectum. An X-ray revealed a mouse lodged inside Smith.
He told emergency room personnel that he could not remember what had happened to him.
After the medical exam, he was charged with resisting arrest, 1st and 3rd degree assault a battery charges, and indecent exposure. Smith was transported to the Oconee County Detention Center.

Air Sex!

Coming to a city near you....Air Sex World Championships! Air guitar contests are SOOOOOO 90s. If anyone is going to be in Portland or Seatlle next weekend, the TF will pay your entry fee. Just take lots of pictures and video.
http://www.airsexworldchampionships.com/

How Many Will Fit?

This blog started with hamsters and will end two days before the TF with hamsters. I thought of a new game for the new guys. It's called, "How Many Will Fit?" Hopefully not more than four cuz that's all I have.

DON'T TASE ME BRO!

It's not the voltage, it's the amps that get ya! This 17-year fence hopper discovered what a full taser charge feels like on Monday night at the Phillies game in front of 40,000 people. Congrats to the Phat Philly police officer for having a pretty darn good taser shot.

By the way, this reminds me of one of the early-to-bed awards for this year. Good luck everyone! Remember when we got Brett likes 3 times before he finally got back up and joined us around the campfire? Ahhhh, the memories.

Bread is for Pussies

KFC's all meat sandwich. Two slabs of chicken as your bun with cheese and bacon in between. Sounds like a good TF meal to me!

Sex with Dogs and Horses? - I'm Losing Faith in Humanity

By Jennifer Sullivan
Seattle Times staff reporter
A Whatcom County man's friendship and aggressive support for a man convicted in the infamous Enumclaw horse-sex case led to his arrest this week for allegedly operating a bestiality farm just south of the Canadian border near Sumas, Washington. Federal prosecutors and Whatcom County sheriff's officials say Spink allowed people to come to the farm and have sex with animals. He was "promoting tourism of this nature for bestiality."

When county deputies and federal investigators searched the property they found videotapes that included images of a man, who was visiting the property, having sex with several large-breed dogs.

In the Enumclaw case, a 45-year-old Gig Harbor man died after having sex with a horse on Tait's rental farm. The horse involved in the incident was not harmed (thank God), and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that "the manner of death was accidental, due to perforation of the colon." The horse's owners told police that they didn't know people had been sneaking into their barn to have sex with their horses.

STD? Me too. How You Doin'?

www.positivesingles.com
The largest and most trusted online dating network for people with STDs. 70 million people in the U.S. are living with an STD. Are you one of them?